Somali family and marriage: households, roles, weddings, polygamy and divorce

The household

Somali households are large and often span three generations. The average household had 6.2 people in 2020 (Somali Health and Demographic Survey 2020). Families pool their money, and relatives abroad often send money home rather than build savings of their own (The Cultural Atlas, Somali culture: family).

Parents and elders are highly respected. The whole family and community share responsibility for raising a child, and old people are usually cared for by their children and grandchildren (The Cultural Atlas). Descent, and so the clan, passes through the father's line; see clans and lineage.

Men's and women's roles

By tradition, men hold most of the authority and are responsible for money and safety. Women run the home, food and children, and older women in particular carry great influence in the family (The Cultural Atlas).

This is changing. About 32% of households are now headed by women, a rise linked to war, drought, rising prices and men moving away for work. Yet only 9% of women aged 15 to 49 had paid work in 2020 (The Cultural Atlas).

How a marriage is made

Marriage is seen as both a religious and a social duty. Matches are traditionally arranged: the two families meet several times to get to know each other. The bride and groom usually have the final say (The Cultural Atlas).

• Sooryo. At the engagement, the groom's side makes a payment that shows its commitment to the marriage.
• Maher. The bride's marriage gift (maher, Arabic mahr) is declared and registered at the engagement ceremony.
• Moving. The bride usually moves into her husband's family home.

(The Cultural Atlas.) A woman keeps her own name after marriage; see Somali names.

Child marriage

In 2020, 35.5% of women aged 20 to 24 had been married before the age of 18, and 16.8% before 15 (SHDS 2020).

Polygamy

Islamic law allows a man up to four wives. Somalia's Family Code permits a further marriage only in set cases, such as a wife's infertility, long illness or imprisonment, and requires a court's permission. In practice many such marriages take place through religious or customary ceremonies without a court, especially in the countryside. There is no official count. One 2023 study in Mogadishu found 28.3% of women in its sample in polygamous marriages (The Cultural Atlas).

Divorce

Divorce is fairly rare and treated as a last resort. Either spouse can ask a court to end the marriage (faskh), and a man can also divorce outside court unless there is a serious dispute. Mothers usually keep the children, and fathers pay for their support (The Cultural Atlas).

Read more

• Xeer, Somali customary law: how families and elders settle disputes.
• Islam in Somalia: the faith behind family law.

Sources

• The Cultural Atlas. Somali culture: family.
• Federal Government of Somalia and UNFPA (2020). Somali Health and Demographic Survey 2020.